Work Christmas Party - Turn up or Turn down?
Hey Jude
I’m Elsie, 22, in my first proper job as a graduate account manager at a big advertising firm in London. It has been a long year and the partners have decided to throw a huge Christmas party. They keep telling us to relax and enjoy it. Their cards are behind the bar so drinks will be unlimited. I was ready to make the most of it.
I told my mum and she shut it down straight away. She said the work Christmas party is never the place to let your hair down. Show your face, have a drink, be polite and leave before things get messy. Then she added something that made me stop. She said that as a Black woman I need to think carefully about how I carry myself in these rooms because people make quick judgements.
I know she lived through a different version of corporate life. My friends at work are more relaxed and the environment feels more open. A free bar after a tough year feels like the break I deserve.
Is she right though? Am I missing something?
Elsie
Hey Elsie
It is that time of year again. Christmas party season. How are we here already?
I have actually been asked this question before, long before I knew better.
I love a Christmas party. Well, I used to.
It is a chance to enjoy yourself, switch off from work and see your colleagues in a different light. They can be a lot of fun.
Saying that, I have also seen and heard completely inappropriate things at these parties. Things that never need to be repeated here. It is not just my experience. Plenty of people can say the same. A recent survey found that 33% of women have seen bad behaviour at work parties. For men it was 26%. When the drinks keep coming people lose their filters and boundaries get crossed. When you are Black, Brown, female or LGBT you are more likely to hear comments that would never be said in the daytime.
It can be shocking and leave you traumatised.
Chartered Management Institution survey, 2023
So should you go to the Christmas party?
Absolutely.
You have worked hard and you deserve the break. Just keep a few things in mind.
This is still work Do not let the lights, music and free drinks trick you into thinking the rules vanish. They do not. People notice more than you think.
These are still colleagues You may like them. You may even call them friends. They are still people you need to work with on Monday. Keep that balance.
Drinks The free bar is tempting. Enjoy it but know your limit. You want to wake up without regret.
Peer pressure It will happen. Decide your boundaries before you get there and stick with them.
Oversharing and gossip Enjoy the night but keep your guard up. Do not share more than you need to and avoid gossip. Stories travel fast and people remember these moments.
Do not be the last one to leave Leave at a good time. If you want to continue the night meet friends outside work.
Dance If you are feeling the music, get a little two step in.
If anything inappropriate happens Report it the next day. Do not leave it. You deserve to feel safe at work.
I find that Mum's are often right. As a Black woman you do need to be aware of how you are seen in these settings. That does not mean you cannot enjoy yourself. It means you stay in control of your night rather than letting the night take control of you.
You can enjoy the party and still protect your reputation. Both can be true.
Wishing you an enjoyable festive season!
Jude