I'm exhausted. Leading an ERG has taken everything from me.

Written By Jude Davis

Hey Jude,

I lead the Black employee resource group at one of the UK’s biggest retailers. For the past three years we’ve built something I’m truly proud of - a community where Black colleagues support, champion and lift one another. I know we’ve made a difference.

But I’m tired.

Black History Month made me face it. I poured extra hours into organising workshops, talks, even a celebration party. All while doing my actual job as a regional sales manager. I have a small team but they’re junior and already stretched. The weight keeps falling back on me.

What started as a passion now feels like a burden. I don’t know if I can do a fourth year.

You’ve been an ERG chair yourself, so I’m reaching out. How do you balance the pressure without burning out? How do you keep giving without it draining everything from you? I don’t want to let the community down but I’m exhausted.

Where do I go from here?

Tatiana

Hi Tatiana

It is UK Black History Month and I know ERG leaders are working nonstop to pull off events, workshops and celebrations. What people do not always see is that the preparation begins months before October even arrives.

First, thank you. Truly. It may feel like a thankless task, but I can promise you it is not. You are making a difference to people’s lives in ways you cannot always measure. Just yesterday I went to Black Tech Fest ( BTF® ) and bumped into former colleagues who thanked me for the work I did as co chair many years ago. To know that my efforts still resonate now is humbling. But even with all that impact, gratitude alone is not enough to sustain you.

You are exhausted.

It is time to rest. It is time to pass on the baton.

Here is my advice for you and for anyone leading an ERG:

Time limit Set a time limit on your tenure. I do not believe anyone should lead an ERG for more than two years. It is important to make space for new energy and protect your own wellbeing.

The art of saying no You do not have to say yes to everything. I understand it feels like you must grab every opportunity, especially at a time when DEI is slipping down the priority list for many organisations. But saying no is an act of self preservation. Pick a few things and do them brilliantly, rather than spreading yourself thin.

Build a team You cannot do this alone. As Maya Angelou said, “Nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone.” Recruit more people. Use Black History Month as a chance to bring new leaders on board. Take colleagues for coffee, invite them to step into roles with real ownership such as comms, events, talent or partnerships. A small leadership team can share the load and create sustainability.

Sponsors Seek out senior leaders who care, who can open doors, and who will actively support your ERG. Choose wisely, sponsors who bring more than just their names, but real influence and commitment.

The show will go on It may feel like everything will collapse if you step back. It will not. You have built a community, and that community will find a way to connect and thrive. To this day, some of my closest friends are people I met through my ERG. Real community does not disappear.

Pay Do not be afraid to ask for compensation. You are doing work that enhances your company’s reputation while also doing your full time job. That deserves recognition and payment.

Do not forget your day job Many managers will not value ERG work. Some may even see it as a distraction. Do not give them the chance to dismiss your impact. If the ERG is hurting your performance in your main role, it might be time to step back. You can always support your community in other ways, even outside the company, through organisations that respect your time.

Allies Bring allies into the fold. Their support and visibility matters. Let them share the weight too.

So Tiana, I will say it again.

Rest. The show will go on.

Jude

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Jude Davis
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